Getting Better Sleep During Perimenopause
I’m neck-deep in good ol’ perimenopause, and my sleep has been an absolute disaster. If you’re anything like me, one minute I was sleeping beauty, and then it seems like all the wheels feel off at once, and I couldn’t fall asleep or stay asleep. I’ve spent the last year addressing some underlying medical issues that were disrupting my sleep (a hormone imbalance and mild sleep apnea). Once those issues were under control, I dove into learning about lifestyle modifications to make to get better sleep and experimenting with natural supplements that ultimately support my body’s ability to sleep well.
MEDICAL ISSUES
Two common reasons why women (especially women in perimenopause or menopause) have disrupted sleep is undiagnosed sleep apnea and hormonal imbalances.
SLEEP APNEA
Did you know you don’t have to be overweight, and you don’t even technically have to be a snorer or a “loud snorer” to have sleep apnea? One in five women have sleep apnea, yet 9/10 women do not know they have it! It’s one of the most under-diagnosed health issues for women. This is a problem, since untreated sleep apnea over time can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, increased dementia/Alzheimers risk, mental health issues (anxiety/depression), and weight gain.
Sleep apnea becomes more common as we age. Just like most muscles in our body, the muscles in our throat and mouth that support our jaw and tongue lose muscle tone as we get older. The result? When we fall asleep, our jaw drops (mouth opens) and our tongue falls backwards obstructing our airway. This can either cause snoring, or if you’re a light sleeper, you may wake yourself up the second you start snoring (which means, your partner may not even know you snore at all). Either way, waking up throughout the night multiple times due to lack of adequate oxygen leads to feeling groggy and disoriented during the day.
Sleep apnea is a common condition that occurs when breathing stops and restarts many times as you sleep which robs your body and brain of oxygen and disturbs your sleep. To simplify it: your airway is obstructed while you sleep, your oxygen levels drop, so your brain wakes you up. This can happen many times a night. The result? No matter how many hours you sleep a night, you still feel tired.
Sleep apnea in women with perimenopause or menopause is often misdiagnosed because the symptoms mimic other medical issues (and to be honest, you can have several issues going on at once).
Night clues you may have sleep apnea: Snoring, gasping, snorting, or waking up out of breath (even slightly). Waking up sporadically throughout the night. Having a hard time falling asleep. Having weird dreams. Feeling like you have a headache in the middle of the night. Having nighttime heartburn.
Day clues you may have sleep apnea: You wake up with a headache, sore throat, and/or dry lips (this is from lack of oxygen, snoring, and mouth breathing). You feel depressed, anxious, and irritable during the day. You’re tired most days. You have brain fog that just won’t seem to lift.
If you have any of these symptoms, you need a home sleep test. You can get a referral from your doctor, or you can visit an airway dentist. The sleep test from an airway dentist is the exact same test you’ll get from your medical doctor (the dentist actually has to work with a medical doctor to send you home with a home sleep test). Although I had to pay out of pocket (a couple hundred dollars), I got my home sleep test from an airway dentist. The results were emailed to be two days later. Note: if you have even mild sleep apnea, most airway dentists will try to get you to purchase a custom apparatus for your mouth. These are expensive. Maybe these work, but as a nurse, I don’t know enough about them to recommend these.
The results from my test showed I had very mild sleep apnea (on a scale from 1-100, I was a 6). To keep my jaw from dropping at night, I started using mouth tape. I also purchased THIS straw to strengthen the muscles that support my jaw and tongue. Mouth tape plus this straw keep my oxygen levels where they should be at night, and I no longer wake up consistently. I wake up rested and never wake up with a headache anymore. Plus, added bonus: the straw and the mouth tape are both supposed to reshape your neck and jawline over time (yes, I’ll take some of that!).
HORMONES
At the same time, I got my hormones tested by the team at Complete Midlife Wellness. I was having a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, and I was having night sweats literally every night. Perimenopause, you’re such a blast! My testosterone was extremely low. Once my testosterone issue was addressed, I have not had a night sweat since! So, instantly my sleep quality was improved. It’s amazing how much sleep we lose when we wake up drenched in sweat and have to change clothes most nights! For more info about how out-of-whack hormones can cause sleep disruptions, watch THIS video where I interview Dr. Hillary Boswell from Complete Midlife Wellness! I can’t recommend their practice enough if you live in Houston. They are thorough, run a lot of tests, and help you find solutions that make you feel better.
AFTER ADDRESSING MY HORMONES AND SLEEP APNEA
Overall, my sleep has drastically improved, however, it was taking me longer to fall asleep than I wanted, and I still wake up at least once in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back asleep. That’s what lead to me digging in and really trying to tweak my sleep routine.
Oura Ring (left) and Ultrahuman (right). I have the Oura Ring. My daughter-in-law has the Ultrahuman. Both feel and look identical. Metrics and data seem identical. Ultrahuman does not require a monthly subscription and is about $100 less than Oura. I chose Oura because it’s supposedly better at tracking sleep apnea issues.
OURA RING
First, I bought an Oura Ring. I wanted data to guide me as I try to figure out how to get better sleep (and so I know what’s working and what isn’t). This one tool has been extremely helpful. Note: my daughter-in-law has the Ultrahuman Ring (the data is fantastic, it’s cheaper, and you don’t need a monthly subscription). I chose the Oura Ring because supposedly it’s better at tracking oxygenation (and I want to stay on top of this particular metric).
Also, THIS ring is so cute with the Oura Ring. Sorry, but the Oura Ring looks like I’m wearing something out of the tool chest in the garage. This cute lil’ piece of bling I wear with my Oura ring makes it look so much better on my finger!
MORNING COFFEE
I started drinking my coffee on our back patio every single morning. I love it so much now, I can’t believe I wasn’t doing this before. The science says a good night’s sleep actually starts in the morning. Getting sunlight right when we wake up oddly tells our brain when to start winding down at night. This affects more than my sleep. Starting the day on my patio is so relaxing, and overall is such a positive way to start the day.
MOVEMENT/EXERCISE
Without a doubt, the days I workout and/or stay active all day, my sleep score on my Oura Ring is better. If I don’t get a full workout in, making time to go for a leisurely 30 min walk in the evening after dinner is still just as beneficial for my sleep as getting in an actual full-blown workout.
EATING EARLY
It’s clear as day on my Oura Ring data that I sleep so much better if I eat dinner earlier in the evening (and then don’t eat anything before bed). I try to be completely done eating (anything) by 7 pm. I usually fall asleep at 10. On nights we have to eat later, taking a 15 minute walk after dinner does seem to help my sleep score. The main idea: digestion interferes with sound sleep. Either eat several hours before bedtime, or go on a walk after dinner (which speeds up digestion).
In addition to getting morning sunlight, exercising during the day, and eating dinner early in the evening, these are the supplements that are working for me to fall asleep fast and stay asleep all night. Please make sure you talk to your health care provider before starting any new medications or supplements.
SLEEP SUPPLEMENTS
The best supplement I’ve ever taken for helping me stay asleep at night is Delta 9 gummies. They work. However, the dose I need (1/2 gummy) to stay asleep all night also makes me feel really groggy the next morning. I wanted a better solution. After a lot of experimenting, I think I’ve found what’s working for me to fall asleep fast and stay asleep all night. I’ve been taking two Neuromag every morning (these contain magnesium L-Threonate, which supports brain function - and weirdly supports sleep at night). Neuromag does not make you drowsy. Overall it adds magnesium to your body (so it contributes to better sleep in a big-picture way), but mostly I love how this supplement also makes my brain feel crisp during the day (good-bye brain fog). I also take L-theanine in the morning. L-theanine is a natural supplement that helps me feel relaxed. Overall, I’m working on keeping my cortisol levels more balanced (I truly believe the unbalance is what’s waking me up in the middle of the night). As I’m getting in bed to read or watch tv, I take another L-theanine and drink a glass of Moonbrew. The L-theanine relaxes me and the Moonbrew contains a cocktail of natural substances that support sleep like magnesium glycinate, l-theanine, chamomile, and reishi mushrooms. Plus, if you have a sweet tooth at night, this hot chocolate is the perfect treat (I add a splash of coffee creamer). More than anything, drinking something calming and warm consistently before bed is one of the ways to tell your brain it’s time for bed. Right before I fall asleep, I take a quarter of the CBD gummy to help me stay asleep in the middle of the night. This routine seems to be the magic formula for me. Morning: 2 Neuromag, 1 L-Theanine. Early Evening: 1 L-Theanine plus Moonbrew. Bedtime: 1/4 gummy.
SLEEP SUPPLEMENTS OUR COMMUNITY RECOMMENDED
Because finding the formula for better sleep is going to be deeply personal, I want to pass along the supplements our community recommended that are helping them get better sleep. As always, please talk to your health care provider before starting any new over-the-counter medications or supplements.
MAGNESIUM: You guys overwhelmingly shared so many great stories about magnesium helping you fall asleep faster at night. At night, THIS is the magnesium recommended before bed (it makes you drowsy). THIS lotion with magnesium was also recommended to use before bed (rubbing onto feet and lower legs/ankles. THIS has a blend of magnesium and was recommended by a couple people. If you want magnesium in a chewable, THIS one was recommended.
CBD: Many of us in perimenopause have found CBD supplements are the one thing that helps us stay asleep at night. If you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and haven't tried these, they are worth a shot! Products recommended by our community: Just CBD Gummies. Martha Stewart's CBD Sleep Gummies. Young Living's CBD Oil. THESE are the gummies I take every night (they are the only ones I've ever tried - but they do keep me asleep at night).
L-Theanine: I've talked about this supplement before if you have anxiety. My husband takes L-Theanine for anxiety in the mornings, and can't believe how well it works. However, so many people in our community said they take L-Theanine right before bed because it's instantly relaxing. I believe this. It's in several of the sleep blends below for that very reason!
BLENDED SLEEP SUPPLEMENTS: Several products recommended are a blend of things like magnesium, L-Theanine, Valerian root, lemon balm, reishi mushrooms - all natural substances that promote sleep. Mary Ruth's Liquid Nightime has a mix of magnesium, calcium, zinc, and Vitamin D3. Hilma Sleep Support is a blend of magnesium, reishi mushrooms, and L-Theanine. Rowe Organic Tart Cherry Sleep Support is a mix of cherry (known for sleep promotion), valerian root, and chamomile.
REDUCING BLUE LIGHT BEFORE BED
This has been the biggest struggle for me. When I read in bed, it’s the best drug. I’m tired within ten minutes. However, there are times I want to watch TV with my husband, or the book I want to read is on my Kindle (which is on my phone or I-Pad). I bought THESE blue-light blocking glasses to wear when I’m reading or watching tv. Because I’m old, and even my eyes are complicated, I had to buy the readers and the non-magnified pair. I wear the readers to read (obviously) and the non-magnified pair to watch tv. I also bought THESE bulbs for our bedside lamps. They are amber. Thanks to my IG community, I also learned I could set my phone and Ipad to “nightshift” so less blue light is emitted. By far, I sleep best if I read before bed with my blue-light blocking glasses, but when that’s not an option, I still fall asleep faster if I’m watching tv wearing my amber glasses. Plus you get to look like Robert Downy Junior. Every girl’s dream (insert eye rolling).
PAJAMAS: THE RULES
I needed new pajamas anyway, so this was the perfect time to try several brands that either claim to keep women cool at night or our IG community suggested for staying cool all night. I also did not want any buttons or collars on my pajamas. I want to look like I’m going to bed, not like I’m about to walk into a board meeting. To make it even more complicated, we have a lot of kids - so, I need my pajamas to be pretty modest. I want to be able to be up watching a movie with my family in my pj’s and then go straight to bed without changing.
Soft and Family Friendly: I needed a few pair of pajamas that are soft, keep me cool, and are modest enough to wear in front of my entire family. THESE pj’s from Eberjey were one of the first sets I tried. Loved them. But you’re welcome - I found an Eberjey dupe that feels exactly the same. As a matter of fact, I liked the dupe’s short set more than the Eberjey short set. The Eberjey short set was very short. THESE pj’s from Softies are really nice as well. I also liked the Lake Pajamas - they are really soft and the shorts are a decent length. I also tried THESE from Pact. They are soft and definitely family friendly, but would not be my top pick. You can’t beat the price for a three-piece organic pajamas set (top, bottom, and robe).
What I kept: The Nachila pant set, (then I bought the Nachila short set), the Lake Pajamas, and Soma Cool Night Pajamas (top/bottom).
Soft and a Little More Sexy: I did not want to love THESE pricey Lunya washable silk pajamas, but wow - they are like sleeping in nothing and kept me cool all night. Honeydew pajamas are as soft as Eberjey pj’s but without the sticker shock as well. The Honeydew short set is super soft and cute, but a little shorter than I want to wear in front of my family (but I love these and kept them).
SHEETS
After sleeping on 14 sets of sheets from 8 companies, I loved two sheet sets so much I’m keeping both. First, THESE sheets from Parachute are soft and cooling at night. Second, THESE Cloud Soft organic sheets from Coyuchi are so soft (but a tad bit less cooling - which I think I’ll love during cooler times of the year). I tried the percale and sateen sheets from Boll and Branch, Parachute, Coyuchi, and Saatva. Since percale sheets are supposed to be cooler than sateen, I thought we’d end up purchasing percale sheets. I was wrong. We really liked sateen in all of the organic sheet brands more than we liked percale. Also, if at all possible, I wanted organic sheets since sheets are something we end up spending a lot of time in contact with (more than other fabrics we wear, etc.). Here’s a breakdown of the sheets we tried (and some dupes I think you’ll love).
Boll and Branch: THESE are definitely great sheets, no question about that. If I had not tried the other sheet brands, I would have tried Boll and Branch and decided they were the winner. Great sheets. Great quality.
Saatva: THESE sheets were really great as well, but they were not as soft as Parachute, Avocado, or Coyuchi.
Cozy Earth: When I put THESE sheets on the bed, Mark said, “These are the softest sheets I’ve felt in my life.” He wasn’t wrong. They were crazy soft. However, we slept on them and didn’t like them! Can something be too soft? Cozy Earth sheets run about $375 for a King set. If you love soft sheets, guess what - THESE sheets and THESE sheets from Amazon felt exactly like Cozy Earth sheets but they are $40 and $20!
Avocado: THESE sheets are insanely soft and very similar to the Coyuchi sheets that are my favorite. However, Avocado sheets are a little thicker (so a little warmer) and seem to be out of stock often. I had to buy a cream color set just to try them because their white sheets were on backorder.
Parachute: WINNER. I love THESE sheets. They are buttery soft, but nice and cool. I also love the pillowcase design (opens in the back instead of on the side). We are keeping these sheets on our bed until it’s a little cooler in Houston.
Coyuchi: I tried several types of sheets from Coyuchi, but THESE Cloud Soft sheets are the perfect type of soft. Have you ever been on sheets so soft, you make snow angels in your bed because the fabric feels so divine up against your skin? They aren’t hot, but they aren’t quite as cooling as the parachute sheets. I will be counting down the days until cooler weather, because I can’t wait to have these sheets on our bed full time.
PILLOWS
Pillows are such a personal preference! Even Mark and I could not buy one brand - we picked two different types for our own pillow at night. My choice: Coop Pillows (you can adjust the height of the pillow based on the stuffing inside). Once I got it right, I love this pillow. Mark likes THESE pillows from Beckham Hotel Collection. Don’t waste your money on the Four Seasons Pillows. The Beckham Hotel Collection pillows feel identical for a fraction of the price. THESE pillows came in second place for both of us and they are only about $30 each.
DUVETS AND DUVET COVERS
I’m still working on these! I haven’t found anything I like yet. Check back!
HELPFUL LINKS
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